The speaker of the article is the writer for the newspaper, "The Onion". Press from "The Onion" has written this article using a very grandiloquent and sarcastic tone.
The occasion of the article is very broad, but it most likely refers to people who fall for commercials and advertisements very easily.
The audience that this article is directed towards is also very broad. The audience would be people who easily for for commercial and people who tend to want to but things very easily.
The purpose of the author in writing this article would be to entertain the public with some humor and some satire. The author could also be mocking the shoe company for making their product seem beneficial and very effective for maintaining good health.
The subject being discussed is the shoe company describing their shoes as things that they are actually not. The author focuses on aspects of the shoe that are just not possible.
The tone of the author chooses to use is a sarcastic and very exaggerated one. By using the tone mentioned, the author makes the article a very funny and interesting one.
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